Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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