Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
tell me about the eggs
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