she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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