no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
