Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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