Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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