i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
