I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
