you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
