PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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