Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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