we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
