I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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