Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
