But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
