..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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