I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
