after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
