Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
