Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize