his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Couch. On fire.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
