if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
