my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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