I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
