i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
