I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
