I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
