Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
