If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
