what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
