btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
