: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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