Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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