first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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