so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
