Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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