I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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