He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
