Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
