woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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