Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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