Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
