He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When are your genitals available?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
