its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
