names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
