ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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