So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
