He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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