Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
