Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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