Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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