i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
